Saturday, June 9, 2012

Welcome to Our Journey...and Our Website

We named our blog "There is Love" after the Peter, Paul, and Mary song of the same title. We recognized our story fell into those powerful lyrics when they sang "woman draws her life from man and gives it back again...there is love."

We hope that our story and our reflections...our triumphs, challenges and frustrations will speak to you. We will often post as individuals...sharing our different viewpoints of many of the events we experience. Sometimes we will write as a couple. Always we will share with total honesty and openness.

If you find yourself living in a situation such as ours...where you or a loved one in your own family is coming to terms with homosexuality, whether in the context of a heterosexual marriage or not, please read on. We are not perfect but can show you why there can be hope, even if everything you know has suddenly been questioned.

PLEASE see the navigation bar on the right to find links to the various parts of our story as it currently has been experienced. We will tell new parts of the story on this main blog page in the future.

We are family. And we will always be family, though families do often change. Two years ago nearly, in the first few days of confronting this truth, we made two rules and we have stayed true to them at all times:

1) We write the rules for our family. No one will tell us how to do this...not family, not friends, not church, not society.

2) We won't allow anyone to choose sides. Anyone who feels the need to choose sides between us (or between us and our children) will just have to leave our lives. We will only allow people two choices: They can choose our family, just as we are, no matter how it looks, or they can not choose our family. We will not be divided.

Navigating through all of this is the hardest thing we've ever done as a couple and a family. But it has also literally saved our family; it has been the most painfully beautiful thing we've ever done. We welcome you into our world. It is a world of love, compassion, understanding, and of knowing that sometimes we just don't have the answers but we still have to proceed anyway.


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  2. Love it. Can't wait for future posts.

  3. I appreciate your honesty in publishing this blog. I have had a lot of questions and you have answered them. I value the love and support you have shown one another and it is an example for all marriages. The reality is that this is your journey and while you have allowed me a glimpse into it I have no place to judge or impose my beliefs into it. I can only wish you two and the boys peace, love and happiness. Thank you for being brave enough to start the conversation that more people need to be having.

  4. Having finally had time to read all of this, I feel compelled to comment. The trauma and the beauty of what your family is going through is just as traumatic and just as beautiful as it appears to be. These writings are so eloquent and raw. I had flashes of visions of a time when the two of you are talking to the world, and not through your blog. I am so amazed at the strength and unity. Your children are blessed to have you both. Love and hugs!

    BTW, I'm not anonymous. Google just kept listing me as unknown. So let the world know, this is your friend, Bridget.

  5. Thank you for this blog, it's a huge help and I think will really help out my wife and I we go through the same thing. Thank you both so much :)

    1. are so welcome. Please feel free to contact us through the email listed here on the website if you would like to have some direct contact and support. Stephanie and I have met several couples via internet, phone, and in person now...we are so open to just 'being with' you as you process through. Love to you and your family.

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  7. What a wonderful beginning! I feel so happy for you. June of this year was important for me too, as I now accept myself openly as a transgender woman.....and a lesbian. I'm out to everyone BUT my wife of 24years, and my three daughters, age 23, 21 and 19.